John the Robert has a Kiwi daughter. Her name is Lucy and she is perfect in every way and will one day rule New Zealand. Unless she decides to move to the Gold Coast for the weather and surfers. In that case she will still rule New Zealand from afar because Australia gets lots of attention and, as per the Kiwi media, what goes on in Australia is more important that what happens here in our beautiful islands.
John the Robert has the next 18 years to get Lucy an American passport. We'll get around to it eventually, but I reckon we make the Yanks come here first. Not all of them. Just the good ones who are related or whanau'ed (how do you make a verb out of that?) to me and mine. Out of 300 million Americans, we are inviting 23 of you. After 23 Americans have come here for the specific purpose of visiting Lucy, we will get her a US passport.
Unless of course she demands that Daddy take her to Disneyland. At that point Daddy will use his quiz hosting* connections to fast track a US passport-and-accompanying-taxpayer-funded-credit-card-charged-plane-tickets to get his princess to LA.
*Bailies Irish Bar in the Square, Tuesday nights from September. John the Robert hosts a pub quiz and makes all those who participate feel smart.